


With Friends Like These...

by BookGirlFan



Category: Archie Comics, Archie Comics & Related Fandoms
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Aromantic Asexual Jughead Jones, Asexual Character, Asexual Jughead Jones, Gen, Jughead Jones Needs a Hug, Jughead and Betty Are Secret Best Friends, Snark, Veronica is a Drama Queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 04:21:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10936899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookGirlFan/pseuds/BookGirlFan
Summary: "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Jughead groaned, pulling his beanie over his eyes."You don't like being Mr Jughead Lodge?" Kevin asked teasingly."That's MrForsytheLodge, Kev," Betty corrected. "Veronica's husband could never be called 'Jughead'!"Kevin shook his head in mock-disbelief. "And she always told me her husband was going to be called Archie."They laughed. Jughead just groaned louder.





	With Friends Like These...

**Author's Note:**

> Something about Archie comics just brings out my writing side, though oddly enough, this has no Archie. He only even gets mentioned once. 
> 
> Please talk to me about Jughead Jones! My family is tired of my rambling.

"Oh, Juggie," Betty cooed. "Newlywed blues?" 

Jughead bit into his burger, deliberately ignoring her. 

"It's such a shame to see a couple apart so soon after the marriage," Kevin commented, appearing at Betty's shoulder. 

"I have never regretted anything more in my life than telling you two about this," Jughead told his burger. 

"You can save your regrets. Veronica told us," Betty reminded him. "You would have just kept it to yourself until we graduated. We never would have had a chance to congratulate you!" 

"It's been a week already, aren't you guys over it yet?" Jughead moaned. 

Betty and Kevin just laughed. "You, being married to Veronica Lodge? I don't care if it's only a mistake in paperwork, it's the funniest thing that's happened here in months!" 

"Veronica doesn't seem to think so. She's been out of school all week." 

Kevin waved that aside. "Veronica is a darling, and my best friend, but as her best friend I have to say she is a touch dramatic. She missed a day last week because the shoes she was planning to wear were a size too small when they arrived, and she didn't have another pair that matched." 

"But of course, you know that, Juggie," Betty said with a mischievous glint in her eye. " You married her!" 

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Jughead groaned, pulling his beanie over his eyes. 

"You don't like being Mr Jughead Lodge?" Kevin asked teasingly. 

"That's Mr _Forsythe_ Lodge, Kev," Betty corrected. "Veronica's husband could never be called 'Jughead'!" 

Kevin shook his head in mock-disbelief. "And she always told me her husband was going to be called Archie." 

They laughed. Jughead just groaned louder. 

"Maybe after school we should visit Ronnie," Kevin continued. 

Betty laughed. "See if she's gotten over the shock yet!" 

Jughead abruptly pulled his beanie back up, glaring at her. "You're just happy you've got Archie all to yourself!" He turned to Kevin. "And what kind of best friend are you? I don't even like Ron most of the time, and I still know she's horrified by all this." He got up and stormed out of the cafeteria, leaving his half-eaten lunch sitting on the table. 

The two left sitting at the table stared at his plate, a heavy cloud coming over them and dispelling their lighthearted mood. Betty broke the silence first, looking dismayed. "Gosh, Jughead's right. What kind of best friends are we, laughing at something which has Ronnie so upset?" 

"Ronnie does get upset a lot, especially over tiny things, but you're right. Jughead has a point," Kevin said. "It might be funny for us, but they have to live it." 

"And I've never seen Juggie so affected about anything ever, in all the years I've known him." She sat up straight, voice filling with determination. "This is really bothering them. Our friends are having a hard time, and we have to help." 

Kevin gave a quick, decisive nod. "Deal! And we can start with visiting Veronica after school." 

 

"I've married a social outcast! A boor! A fool!" Veronica wailed into her mountain of pillows. "I can never show my face at the country club again!" 

"Ronnie –" Betty tried to interrupt, but Veronica cut her off. 

"This is social suicide! I'm too young to die! I'm still only a teenager! Why, oh why did that paperwork have to be misfiled!" 

"I'm sure it will be sorted out soon, and you'll go back to being the social queen of the school," Kevin tried to comfort her. "It's not like you're really married to Jughead." 

This just sent Veronica into a fresh wave of tears. "I'm only a teenager, I can't be married! I can't marry Jughead! I can't even cook!" 

At this last proclamation, Betty and Kevin exchanged a look, and burst into snorts of laughter. Veronica turned her tears, red-faced glare on them. "What?" 

"You can't even cook!" Betty wheezed, and started laughing even harder. Beside her, Kevin was holding onto the doorframe in an effort to keep his balance, while his laughs grew even louder. 

Veronica sat up, scowling at the two of them. "This is serious! I'm legally married to," she cringed, "Jughead Jones!" 

Kevin finally managed to smother his giggles, enough to comment, "Well, it's not like he's happy about it either." 

"Yeah, he's pretty upset." Betty hiccuped, then continued, "I think he's nearly as affected by this as you are." 

Veronica snorted. "Jughead? That boy isn't affected by anything but his stomach." 

"You'd be surprised, Ron," Betty said. "At lunch today, he didn't even finish his meal." 

"Who cares what he thinks?" Veronica fumed. "I'm the one who's going to be living in the poorhouse!" 

"You should care!" Betty told her. 

"Yeah!" Kevin agreed. "He's your husband!" 

They both burst out laughing again. Veronica threw herself facedown on the bed. 

 

Next day at school, Veronica was present again, smiling cheerily. 

"You look like you're in a good mood," Kevin said, coming up beside her. "Honeymoon going well?" 

She beamed at him. "Better now that it's over! Daddy fixed the paperwork problem last night. I'm officially unwed!" 

"Congratulations!" He offered her a high five, and she gleefully returned it. "I'm glad it's over. It definitely was funny, but I don't like seeing you so upset." 

She nodded disconsolately. "My social standing could take weeks to recover." 

"Don't worry," Kevin told her. "You're Veronica Lodge! You'll be the queen bee of the school again in no time." 

"Aww, Kevin!" She hugged him tight. "You're right. This school will be mine again by lunchtime!"

"Speaking of lunchtime, have you seen Jughead?" 

Veronica's happy smile began to morph into a scowl. "These jokes are way old, Kevin. I just told you, we're not married anymore." 

"No, this isn't a joke. I really haven't seen him all morning." 

"He's probably just moping that he can't buy out Pop Tate of hamburgers," Veronica said dismissively. "Not that I would have let him anyway." 

"You didn't see him yesterday," Kevin frowned. "He was acting really strange. Not Jughead kind of strange, but upset. Betty and I were teasing him, and I think it actually got to him." 

"Okay. After school, we can go to Pop's and come up with a plan." She waved goodbye, already getting out her phone. "I'll text Betty about it. Later!" 

 

Veronica, Kevin, and Betty walked into Pop's, the doorbell jangling. "I'll order, you find us a booth!" Veronica ordered, but was interrupted by Betty.

"Jughead?" The boy in question was slumped in a booth away from the window, a nearly untouched burger sitting in front of him. 

Pop Tate beckoned them over and whispered, looking worried, "He's been sitting there for hours now. Hardly eaten a bite!" 

The three of them exchanged a look, and Betty slid into the booth beside Jughead, Kevin and Veronica leaving for a booth on the other side of the shoppe. 

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said to you and Kevin yesterday, Betty." He didn't look at her, fingers playing over the top of his burger. 

"You're already forgiven, Jughead," Betty said. "I know I can be a bit obsessive about Archie sometimes." 

"Oh, definitely," he agreed, "but no worse than Archie about you and Veronica. Besides, that still doesn't make it okay." 

"I told you, Jughead, you're forgiven," Betty told him firmly. "And I'm sure Kevin will forgive you too. Now what was it really that got you so upset?" 

He hesitated, then looked up and met her eyes. "I don't want to be married, Bets. Not to Ronnie, not to Ethel, not to anyone. The idea..." he looked down at his burger again. "I guess it was just freaking me out." 

"I think it freaked out Ron more," Betty joked gently. This conversation was obviously making Jughead uncomfortable, and she didn't want to make him share anything he didn't want to. He was always a private person, and this whole week seemed to have affected him more than they realised. But if there was one thing she knew would bring Jughead back to the untouchable oddball she knew, it would be the chance to make a snarky comment – especially against Veronica. 

Jughead looked up at her again and grinned, taking the bait. The heavy atmosphere broke. "Yeah, it did. She'll probably need a lot of therapy to recover from that one." 

"Therapy?" Betty raised an eyebrow, confused by this turn of the conversation. 

"Retail therapy, what else?" 

They laughed, and went to join Kevin and Veronica.


End file.
